They say there’s no greater pain than seeing your child suffer – and that saying hit me like a ton of bricks when my little lad Josiah entered the world in July 2011.
It seemed a normal birth (I survived without gas and air) and, weighing in at 7lbs 4oz, everything was perfect. It’s amazing for a fella. Whereas the mum has stroked, felt and carried her offspring for nine months, getting to know them and conversing with them in that innocent, naive way, us blokes haven’t a clue what to expect. Most of us – me included – have barely even held a baby, let alone raised one.
Of course we give children some thought while the wife’s gaining weight and we’re building cots, but nothing can quite prepare us for that moment of beauty when our tiny creation appears in the most brutal yet stunning of ways.
I drove home from hospital that night feeling like I’d just scored the winner at Wembley. I was a dad. Yes, me. Matthew Murray, a dad. The idiot at school; the guy who no one ever takes seriously and who plays childish pranks on his mates; the fool who can’t even make beans on toast without nearly burning his house down. Yes, me. I’m now responsible for another human being. It was daunting, it was terrifying, but it was also ridiculously exciting. Let the fun begin.
Fast forward four days and we’re still in hospital. Then, as my parents are visiting one afternoon, alarms galore go off around Josiah’s bed and out of nowhere about 12 doctors appear, pushing me and my wife to one side and calling for an emergency ambulance.
The voice of fear suddenly appears. I have a crazy moment, an outburst of tears and a desperate phone call to a friend. But that soon passed. Now was my time to stand up and be brave. My family needed me.
It turned out that Josiah had a severe bowel condition and we were told there was a chance he could die. He had an operation that night. He had another one a few weeks later. Then he had another one, which failed. And another, but that didn’t work either. Then, about ten months later, Josiah entered surgery for the fifth time and everything was well. The bowel condition he was born with had held him back for the best part of a year, but we were told there would be no long-term problems. Josiah would lead a normal life.
It’s true. There is nothing worse than seeing your child in pain. His helpless eyes stare at you for an answer. His murmurs are filled with questions. As a parent, you have no solution. All you can do is hold his hand and pray. And boy do you pray.
God knows what it’s like to suffer. In fact, he sent his son, Jesus, into the world to do just that. He died on a cross so that we could be forgiven and experience everlasting life.
The normal questions go through your head. Why would God allow this? What have we done to deserve this? Why us?
But rather than protesting to a deity in the sky who fails to answer our cries, we’re actually connecting with a real God who understands every emotion, pain and question we might have.
What are you going through? Are you worried about your child? It might not be a health issue, it could be anything. Trust in God. Dads know best, and in Father God, you’ll always find perfect peace, no matter what’s going on around you…