As he stared at his daughter’s lifeless body, Neil Leatherbarrow likened it to an experience from hell. But believing in God has given him hope. Joy Tibbs found out more
On the night of March 17, 2011, Neil Leatherbarrow received a phone call that changed and defined the rest of his life. He was told that his precious daughter Charlotte, aged 12, had been killed in a road accident. The young performer had been hit and run over by a bus on the way to a dance lesson.
“I was 500 miles away in Germany at the time,” Neil, 47, recalls. “It came as a complete shock. I had to hold myself together. I knew I had to get back home as quickly as possible, but I couldn’t do that.
“I went to every airline to try to get a flight back home. I pleaded with my flight company to change my flight, but unfortunately they didn’t believe me. It was so frustrating. I had to go back to the guest house where I was staying; that was very intense.”
When Neil finally arrived home the next morning, his grief intensified.
“I found myself standing at the front door and I realised that when I opened the door my whole world was going to change,” he remembers.
“I was facing the rest of my life without Charlotte; it was just dawning on me. It was the most intense, most painful emotional situation I’ve ever experienced.”
Charlotte started dancing at the age of four. By the time she turned nine she was dancing with the National Youth Ballet and was chosen for the role of Tulip Fairy in a film called Dance like the Flower Fairies, beating a thousand or so other girls to the part. Neil recalls a particularly special performance from Charlotte on Christmas Eve 2010 in West End musical Billy Elliot.
“That was the proudest moment as a father to see my daughter with 1,500 people applauding her,” he says. “It was a complete contrast the following Christmas when she wasn’t even here.
“Charlotte was a very special girl who touched the heart of everyone she came into contact with. But I remember her mostly for her kindness and her ability to meet people in a way that made them feel good about themselves. She had a wonderful sense of humour and was exceptionally close to her two brothers, Luke [20] and Jason [17].”
The family do not know how they would have coped with this terrible tragedy had it not been for their faith in God. This was particularly true after seeing their daughter’s body a week after her death.
Despite being urged by the family liaison officer and funeral director not to do so, Neil and wife Karen, 50, were desperate to see their little girl one last time.
“We had no idea the horror we were about to face,” says Neil. “As a Christian I was kind of hoping for some kind of angelic experience when I saw my daughter, but again I was completely shocked. It was really an experience from hell, like coming face to face with the devil himself.
“It was the most hellish experience having to go and see my daughter lying in a casket; my beautiful daughter not looking her best.
“It was shocking and horrific. We were told we couldn’t touch her because her face would fall apart. All I wanted to do was hold her, touch her, kiss her, and at this point I was completely brokenhearted. When we walked out we could havejust walked away from everything. You feel like you’ve had the wind knocked out of you – you don’t know if you can face anything after that. Probably the worst was that day, a week after losing Charlotte. The first week was the most intense experience.
“As the reality sets in of your loss you begin to question everything you’ve ever believed in. The short answer is I felt it was better to believe than not to believe at all.
“It’s better to face life knowing than not if I had chosen to turn my back on God, which actually I never wanted to do. It was so cruel what happened to us. I can’t understand or reason it, but it is my faith that holds me together. It is my anchor; it gives me hope to carry on. My faith couldn’t explain why it happened, but it gave me the strength to go on.”
And death isn’t the end for Charlotte, because not only do Neil and the family believe they will see her again in heaven, they have also set up a foundation in her honour. Thirteen young people are already in receipt of Charlotte Leatherbarrow Foundation scholarships, which pay their way through performing arts school if they are unable to pay for themselves.
“Through the charity we’re building Charlotte’s legacy for her. We want to help other people just like her do what she was doing and more. As many young people as we can,” Neil says.
“Jesus brings life out of death, he brings hope and purpose. It’s going to become my purpose: out of her death I’m going to bring life. That’s where my faith became so real. If life is completely random and has no meaning, it’s like looking into a black hole waiting to be swallowed up. There’s no hope for the future at all.
“Charlotte’s legacy is already building and transforming lives. That’s what people are going to know her for. That’s the message of the gospel for me. Jesus knew what pain and suffering was all about and he faced it to bring hope. I’m a stronger believer in it. It doesn’t take away the pain we feel every day, but we hope to see her again one day. My faith helps me to face my pain.”