A grieving girl whose life spiralled out of control after her dad killed himself heard the voice of God and turned to Jesus.
Andie Jane Stansfield (pictured above, left and right, in her goth days), aka ‘AJ’, became a ‘goth girl’ with a life of drugs, sex, body piercings, “enticing outfits” and wild partying.
The 22-year-old, from Gateshead, near Newcastle, was trying to bury her grief after the family tragedy when she was just 15.
“I used to be very stubborn and angry. I would swear and hold grudges for weeks. I had bitterness and unforgiveness in my heart because my dad committed suicide and left me behind.
“I felt abandoned and God had to heal all those wounds.”
That process started with the voice.
“I heard the audible voice of God tell me to forgive myself. I became convicted of my sins, to start living in holiness.
“God taught me what a relationship with him is, how he’s always known me, but the difference is he just wanted me to get to know him.
“The broad road I was on was dark and destructive, but God revealed himself to me and put me on the narrow road that leads to life.”
AJ’s faith was tested when, within a week of becoming a Christian, her grandfather also committed suicide.
“I really had to dig down deep to keep the faith that everything was going to be okay.
“I was angry at God with the very well known ‘why did this happen?’ questions. But I had to let go and say that sometimes it’s okay not to have all the answers.”
She faced other challenges.
“Being a goth was all I knew and now I found myself a Christian with a faith. I had to give all of my old ways up to be brand new in him.”
The pandemic lockdown helped her change by getting to know God.
“For a few months, it was just me and God, understanding his voice and who I was in him. [It was] a long wilderness season when it was just me and God, getting to know him in a deeper way and learning to hear his voice.”
She is now part of a church called Kingdom Impacting Nations in Bensham, Gateshead, and goes to St Luke’s Junction 42.
She joins ‘outreaches’ with Pavement Prophets in Sunderland – a Christian community dedicated to local evangelism.
AJ said Jesus is her “father, mother, brother and the only one I can turn to”.
“People will always let you down but Jesus is the only one who will never let me down. He’s there through my lowest valleys and on the highest mountains.
“The difference since Jesus knocked on the door and I let him in is that I have truly found peace. All the things I chased after were empty without Jesus.
“Once I really grasped the identity I have as a child of God, I only wanted to chase the kingdom of heaven and all it has to offer.”
