Beccy Cox is now using her experience of recovery from self-harming to help others.,,,
Forgiveness proved to be the turning point for a Christian whose life had been wrecked by sickness and the trauma of childhood abuse.
Beccy Cox was first hit by shingles and severe tonsillitis and then unshakeable glandular fever, which developed into ME.
By her teens, every day was spent lying on the sofa, unable to wash her hair or get downstairs without her mum’s help.
“It was horrible. I felt very, very low,” she explained in a video interview with Christian broadcaster UCB.
“I grew up in a Christian family and I still knew God, but I wasn’t letting him fill the void. That void was filled with rubbish, and I wasn’t willing or able to let anybody in or to discuss it with anyone.”
She began self-harming. At 15, cutting herself became an outlet for her pain. As the years passed, she ended up in hospital several times and began to fear for her future.
“I thought, ‘How am I going to go to uni, have a job, raise a family or anything like that?’”
Despite the huge challenges, she felt God call her to go to Moorlands College. She wondered how that would be possible with debilitating ME, but obeyed God’s call and began studying applied theology.
There, she found a safe place to study while God began to heal her of the trauma of her past.
“I was diagnosed with PTSD and got some incredible treatment from a lady with trauma-based CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy).
“I know God can heal instantly, but for me my healing took place over a longer period and through doctors, nurses and psychiatrists.”
Having been abused by a family member, Beccy was struggling to forgive.
“I didn’t want to forgive people who had caused me so much pain. My arms, tummy and legs were covered in scars and they were to blame for that.”
But advice from a counsellor led to the breakthrough she needed.
“I remember him saying forgiveness doesn’t mean it’s okay what they did, but it means you release them and can walk free.”
After this, Beccy’s life was transformed. Her ME vastly improved and she discovered that God could use her experiences to help others.
Two ladies separately told her they felt God was saying she would become ‘a midwife of souls’.
“You’re going to stand alongside people in their pain and be there birthing new life,” one said.
Beccy has since worked with recovering addicts in Plymouth and says one Bible verse – 2 Corinthians 1:4 – has proved true for her.
“It talks about how the comfort you’ve received from God is the comfort you’ll give to others.
“Although I’ve not had alcohol or drugs as an addiction, I class self-harm as an addiction and I understand when they say they’ve relapsed. I love to be able to say, ‘God’s caught you in that. His grace is sufficient and his love is all-consuming.’”
